GIVING: When I give, I give unconditionally (Sponsored by Dr. Robert Holden, O Magazine)
Has it ever occurred to you that what you are not getting—either from someone, something or somewhere—might be precisely what you are not giving? For example, your boss doesn't motivate you, but do you motivate your boss? Your partner doesn't compliment you, but do you compliment your partner? Your child never listens to you, but do you really listen to your child? Really? You are held back not by what you don't get, but by what you don't give.
Do you ever feel you give too much? If so, it may be that you are blocking abundance by being in a role. Roles are often so unconscious and automatic we often don't notice them until we collapse with exhaustion. So, what roles do you fall into in relationships? Do you ever play "the giver" who only gives and never receives; or "the helper" who suppresses any personal needs; or "the independent one" who never asks for what they want; or "the rescuer" who is always on duty; or "the martyr" who cannot really give unconditionally because they do not really receive?
Exercise: Today, do not think in terms of giving and receiving; rather, see that giving is receiving. Notice the difference between giving from your essence and giving from a role. From your essence, giving is always sharing and the gifts are multiplied. In a role, giving is always a transaction in which someone inevitably loses. When you give from your essence, you notice how you receive as you give, and, thus, you naturally let go of all fear of giving and receiving.(*)
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Two more chapters and then I will finish writing my second cookbook.
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