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Saturday, December 22, 2012


I just came back from work and did small shopping couple hours ago, went online and got message from facebook, mentioned I had to call my step mom at the hospital.  My father was in the critical condition.  I just could not hold my tears and suddenly my heart and hands were shaken before I tried to stand up and go downstairs to take the phone.  What I heard from her, my father right now cannot do anything with some failure conditions, from heart, lung, liver and kidney.  He is breathing with the help of Oxcygen machine.  He is just turn 72 years old on November 27.  The day when I called him and found out he was difficult when speaking because of the throat infection till I forgot to greet him Happy Birthday and just remembered after I hung up the phone.
On last Monday my husband and I had a chance to talk to him on the phone before he got ready to have USG for his lungs and heart. I was cheerful at that time because his voice sounded better than before when I called him although I almost could not hold my tears.  Also my husband had the same feeling like me.  But his condition now turns 180 degree.  I want to pray but I just can't.  So I decided to write this post and sending my prayer from my mind to my beloved father.   
Christmas will be several next days.  All I want for Christmas or wish for Christmas is my father will get better and better.  I can't say other things.  I even can't describe how I feel right now.   Two weeks ago I have sent three pictures of our 10th Anniversary via mail and hoped he will be so happy seeing them, but with his condition right now, I just cross my fingers tightly and hope I will not lay down on my husbands' hands because of unconsciousness.
I wish . . . I wish . . .
I still remember what I wished when celebrating our 10th Anniversary.  I wished we had good, happy and healthy marriage life,  having good health and became wiser facing the future, seeing our children happy and healthy. 
I wish . . . I wish . . .
I wish my father feels what I feel right now.  I want to hug and kiss him tightly and say "I miss you and I love you." -- Oh God . . . please, please!!!(*) 

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I wish I will be there, sitting beside my father's bed, holding his hand, and pray.   about 1 minute ago from web



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